Yesterday I asked you to choose words in order to paraphrase the paragraph below. If you didn’t see the lesson, please check it before you see the answers: Paraphrasing Practice Exercise 2
It is sometimes thought that it is beneficial for companies to sponsor sports events through advertising. By doing this, extra funding, which is often lacking, can be raised to support sports events and ensure that they continue to run. Furthermore, companies can also contribute clothing or equipment which supports the event, teams and players.
Answers
Below you will find two answers; two paragraphs and a list of changes. The first answer is for the yesterday’s lesson. The second answer is a free paraphrasing example to show you how this paragraph can be altered further.
Answer 1: Some people believe that it is advantageous for business to sponsor sports events through advertisements. In this way, extra funding, which is often in short supply, can be raised to support sports events and ensure they continue to run. Furthermore, companies can also contribute clothing or equipment which supports the event, team and players.
Word Changes and Tips
- It is sometimes thought that = Some people believe that
- it is beneficial = it is advantageous
- companies = businesses (you should not paraphrase companies as industries)
- By doing this = In this way (you should not write “When we”, it is too informal for an IELTS essay)
- extra funding should not be paraphrased as extra cash (it is too informal in this context. Although, the word “cash” can be used in other situations, such as talking about using cash or cards)
- is often lacking = in short supply (you should not paraphrase it as “a lack of” because it is grammatically incorrect)
- sports events – it’s best not to paraphrase this. The words “sports occasion” is incorrect in meaning. Not all words can be paraphrased. But you can give examples of sports events instead. Some words will be repeated in English.
- Furthermore can’t be paraphrased as And. The reason is that “and” never goes at the start of a sentence in a formal essay.
- clothing should not be paraphrased as attire in this context. Certainly the meaning is similar but the word attire does not relate to sports wear. The word “sports wear” is the best paraphrase to use.
- players should not be paraphrased as “performers”. The word “performers” is not used in sport in this context.
Free Paraphrasing
Answer 2: Some people think it is advantageous for sports companies to use advertising to sponsor sports events, such as football matches or the Olympics. The extra funding from businesses is frequently much needed, as government funding can be limited. Sports events benefit from the extra finances as the money allows them to continue running and also, at times, provides teams and players with free sports wear or equipment, which are often too costly for them to buy.
Thank you Liz
Thank you Liz.
Some people think that companies get benefit by sponsoring sports events through advertising. Through this process, additional fund can be raised which helps to support sports events and maintain their continuity. In addition, businesses can help the event, teams and players by contributing clothing and equipment.
Hi Liz
please tell me that can I paraphrase map/maps with diagrammatic representation ?
A map is a map – don’t change the word. There are plenty of other words which can be paraphrased without making mistakes.
Thank you Liz its really helpful
Just want to thank you personally. Your online teachings have built my confidence to write the exam and I believe that 9 is my score.
I’m glad to hear that my lessons have helped. Band 9 is a great score to aim for. Both band 8 and 9 are characterised by excellent English. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you. Let me know your results when they arrive 🙂
thanku.:0
Really helpful
Hi Liz,
I really enjoyed and learnt a lot from this practice. If you have any more, kindly let me know or if there is any other website please tell me.
I’m glad you liked the lesson. You can find more lessons on my main writing task 2 page: https://ieltsliz.com/ielts-writing-task-2/. I’ll post more lessons for different skills each week 🙂
It is often believed that advertisement can be fruitful for companies, in order to sponsor sports. This will not only help to raise extra funding, which is often less, but also contributes to run them smoothly. Moreover, events,teams and players can also be supported with clothing and equipment by various companies.
someone told me that people is an informal word and we should not use it in essay,is it correct?
People is a normal word that can be used in formal and informal essays as well as full academic writing.
Dear liz
I would be glad if you comment. Thank you
Some people feel that Sports sponsoring by different companies through advertising is advantageous. However, collecting money in this way recuperates the economic needs and thus confirm to continue the sport events. Additionally, companies also supply clothes, and necessary playing attributes imperative for teams and players
Hi liz
I wanted to purchase in one of your lesson for writing task 2 but my card does not accept it, ☹️ im using debit card, here in saudi arabia.
Many thanks.
Shade
All payments are with paypal. Check if your card if accepted by paypal.
Hi teacher!
How can I get your advanced class? Plz let me know about it.
My advanced writing task 2 lessons are available to purchase on this page: http://subscriptions.viddler.com/IELTSLizStore
I did it, but I have just done two or three mistakes .
in place of ensure that they continue to run
This is my version. Please let me know what you think.
Sports events require a large sum of money, which is not easy to generate. Through sponsorship, sports event organizers are able to fund operation while allowing teams and individual athletes to acquire the logistics they need such as equipments and uniforms. Companies could also benefit from this deal since popular athletes could attract more consumers by appearing in their ads.
I don’t comment on writing but I’ll just say one thing: always make sure you are clear that the sponsorship is company sponsorship – make it clear early in the paragraph. Well done 🙂
It is equipment not equipments.
Can we write ‘consequently ‘instead of ‘in this way’ and start the sentence with that.
And ‘in addition to this’ instead of furthermore
In this paragraph it is possible to use “Consequently” rather than “In this way”. You can also use “In addition / Additionally / Moreover” instead of Furthermore. See this page for linking words: https://ieltsliz.com/linking-words-for-writing/
Hello liz
Do you give online classes
Thank you
At present the only extra lessons I have are my advanced writing task 2 lessons. Each lesson explains one type of IELTS essay is great depth. Certainly use of you need to learn more about techniques and what the examiner is really looking for. See this page: http://subscriptions.viddler.com/IELTSLizStore. I won’t have more lessons available until the end of this year.